


The Disappearance of Sirius Black

by dogpawsnwerewolfclaws



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Gun Violence, M/M, Mentions of Murder, Mentions of Sex, Minor James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Missing Persons, Plenty of swearing, Private Investigators, but also it's like a nice story please still read it, mentions of drug dealing, mentions of hitmen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-26
Updated: 2021-01-12
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:34:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22914826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dogpawsnwerewolfclaws/pseuds/dogpawsnwerewolfclaws
Summary: Being a private investigator wasn’t exactly what Remus expected he’d end up doing with his life, in fact, he kind of fell into it. Remus had taken over his friend Marlene’s business after her unfortunate death. He’d gained a good reputation and consulted on some pretty tough cases over the years. There was one case he hadn’t managed to solve, though. The disappearance of his own boyfriend, Sirius Black.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 16
Kudos: 49





	1. Chapter 1

The alarm blared at 5.45 am sharp. In his haste to turn the damned thing off, Remus sent a glass of water flying.

Fuck.

He sat up and rubbed his eyes. He didn’t have time to deal with the broken glass right then, though.

He made sure to avoid it on his way to the shower, then back out to the bedroom to get dressed. Choosing a simple pair of chinos, dark shirt and navy pullover. A light black jacket over the top.

He was at the door, backpack in hand when he realised, he’d forgotten something.

Quickly to the study, he rifled through the files on his desk until he finds the right one, Veronica Sears.

Remus got into the car, 6 am. He pulled up to the Sears home just as Veronica got into her own car.

She was exactly the description her husband gave. Slender, red-headed, sour look on her face. Everything about her fits in, there in that upper-class London neighbourhood where homes were probably a couple million to buy.

Remus knew his car wouldn’t fit in, which is why he’d cleverly hired a fancier one. He’d write it off as an expense and bill his client for it. The bastard can afford it anyways.

* * *

Being a private investigator wasn’t exactly what Remus expected he’d end up doing with his life, in fact, he kind of fell into it.

His friend Marlene McKinnon, a PI had been hired by a family to look into their son’s death by apparent drug overdose. She’d come to Remus for help as he had studied chemistry and biology at university and had better knowledge on drugs, he’d ended up working with her quite closely on that case. They discovered a guy had been selling drugs purposefully laced to cause overdoses, took him down and several others. From then on, they started working together.

That was until her murder.

Her and her girlfriend, Dorcas, shot and killed in their own home.

It was a cut and dry case; however, Dorcas has been being followed by a guy she worked with after she rejected his romantic advances; and they found the gun in his home.

Remus had taken over Marlene’s business after that.

He’d gained a good reputation and consulted on some pretty tough cases over the years.

There was one case he hadn’t managed to solve, though.

The disappearance of Sirius Black.

* * *

Remus followed Veronica as she drove out of London and towards the countryside. He made sure to keep a distance, not wanting to rouse suspicion. But he’d found over the years it’s surprisingly easy to follow people, especially when they’re not exactly suspecting it.

People are trusting. They crave comfort and safety and they’ll often ignore warning signs to feel it. You see it in horror films, when a character ignores the creaking footsteps coming from upstairs. Remus saw it for real when a target would glance over their shoulder, feeling eyes on them but looked right through Remus, then they would carry on as if nothing had happened.

Veronica pulled into the car park of a spa hotel in the countryside. A nice spot but it didn’t seem like the location of a banking and investment conference, as this is the excuse, she had given her husband.

A young man went to meet her, Remus parked nearby and readied his camera.

Bingo.

They exchange a very familiar and sensual kiss on the lips.

Remus clicked a few photos of their reunion. The couple obviously felt quite comfortable there, miles away from most prying eyes, and were quite public with their affection for a minute or two before walking inside towards reception.

Remus took note of the hotel’s name and address before heading back home, satisfied that he’d have another happy client. Well, Mr Sears wouldn’t be pleased to learn of his wife’s affair, but he had suspected as much and that’s why Remus had been hired.

If only everything could be this easy.

* * *

The last time he saw Sirius Black was a normal evening. Sirius had cooked them a meal. He played their favourite Bowie record. They danced in the living room. They fucked on the sofa.

Then Sirius’ phone rang.

He snatched it so quickly before Remus could see the caller’s name.

And Sirius walked into the other room to take the call. He never did that.

Then he rushed out, pulling on clothes and boots and his leather jacket.

He pressed a quick kiss to Remus’ lips, “sorry love, it’s urgent,” he said, running for the door, “don’t wait up.”

He never came home, and no one had heard from or seen him ever since. It had been 3 long years.

* * *

Remus dropped the hired car at the rental place. He gave the guy a nice tip because he was about to make a few thousand quid for less than 3 hours work.

He walked a short distance, grabbed a coffee and a scone in a bakery before heading to the train station to go home.

He scrolled through his phone as he waited for his train. The platform was crowded. It always was.

He glanced up as a train arrived. Not his one.

But something caught his eye.

Long black hair.

Leather jacket.

The name was out of his mouth before he could stop it.

“Sirius!” He called. No response.

He stood up, walked towards the man. He couldn’t see his face.

“Sirius!” He yelled again. Nothing

The man was getting on the train.

“Padfoot!” Remus shouted it this time. Pleading, desperation in his voice.

The man paused, turned around.

Pale skin, high cheekbones, grey eyes.

Sirius Black met Remus Lupin’s gaze.


	2. Chapter 2

Sirius Black met Remus Lupin’s gaze and mouthed something.

The train started to pull away.

No.

NO.

Remus ran forward, running after the train, but he was too late.

Sirius was gone.

Someone touched him on the shoulder, a station worker, “you alright mate?” he looked concerned, “can I call someone? We can’t let you on a train distressed like this…”

Remus couldn’t really hear him; his mind was racing, and his ears were ringing as if he’d been in an explosion.

“Taxi,” he replied to the worker, breathlessly, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I’ll just go grab a taxi.”

* * *

Remus left the train station and got into a taxi, giving them James and Lily Potter’s address.

James, Lily, Remus and Sirius had all gone to school together, they were still best friends.

Lily and James had dated in their last year and got married soon after leaving school when they discovered Lily was pregnant, baby Harry was already four years old.

Remus hammered on the door to the Potter’s house, he was greeted by Lily, a concerned look on her face.

“Remus,” she said, “you don’t need to knock our bloody door in, Harry’s napping.”

“Where’s James?” Remus replied, pushing past her and wandering through their hallway to the kitchen.

“Remus, what’s wrong with you?” Lily closed the door and followed him through.

James was in the kitchen, holding the kettle, “tea Moony?” he asked, but when he caught the look on Remus’ face he put the kettle down, “Christ, mate, what’s happened?”

“I saw him, James,” Remus breathed, sitting down in one of the Potter’s kitchen chairs.

James exchanged glances with Lily.

“Who?” James asked, settling in the chair opposite Remus as Lily took a seat next to him.

“Sirius,” Remus replied, “I saw him at the train station.”

There was a pause. James sighed.

“Remus,” he started, gently, “I’ve seen Sirius everywhere since he left, but it’s just grief…”

“Don’t start with that psychology bullshit James,” Remus spat back, “I saw him, I saw him, I swear to fucking god.”

His fist slammed on the table and he let out a shuddering breath, a sob wrenched through him.

Lily’s two hands enclosed his clenched fist on the table, she brought it to her lips and pressed a soft kiss to it, “Remus, we love you, we’re here,” she said, “speak to us.”

Remus took a second to collect himself, James finished making three cups of tea and placed them on the table.

“It was different this time,” he said, finally, the warm mug between his hands, staring at the liquid inside, “I-I’ve seen hundreds of times but it’s never really him. Sometimes it’s just some random person who looks kind of like him, other times it’s nothing. No one. Just my crazy mind.”

He sighed and took a sip of his tea, “this time though, I shouted his name twice, but it didn’t look like he’d heard me,” he took another long breath, “then I shouted Padfoot. He turned around. I saw him, his face. He looked scared, he mouthed words at me.”

James rubbed a hand over his face. His eyes were red, “did you get what he said?”

Remus looked up at James, “he said, ‘ _I’m sorry.’_ ”

* * *

Remus stayed at James and Lily’s that night; they hadn’t wanted him home alone after what had apparently happened.

“So, what are you going to look for when we get there?” James asks, the next morning as he drove to the train station where Sirius had been.

“Not sure exactly,” Remus sighed, “maybe CCTV? Make sure it’s definitely him.”

James gave him a look.

“I mean, I’m 99.9 per cent sure it’s him,” he clarified, “it’s just… there’s that voice in my head that’s telling me I’m crazy.”

James nods, “we should also check what train he got on, see if we can try to predict what stop he may have gotten off at.”

Remus put his head in his hands, “fuck sake,” he said, “why didn’t I think of that? I’m the bloody PI here and here’s you, the fitness instructor, doing my job better than me.”

“Shut up, Moony,” James replied, “you’re an idiot when it comes to Sirius, always have been.”

They parked outside the train station and headed inside.

It was a small station, two platforms. There was a small cupboard that just about passed for an office, Remus knocked on the door.

A man with thinning white hair and a round face answered the door, “can I help you?” he asked around a mouthful of sausage roll.

“Hi, I’m R.J. Lupin of McKinnon Surveillance Services,” he handed the man his business card, “I need to access CCTV footage from yesterday morning.”

This wasn’t entirely legal, and Remus didn’t usually do this sort of thing, but desperate times and all that.

The man raised an eyebrow, “only people I’m required to give CCTV to is the police,” he replied, calmly.

Remus sighed. He thought this might happen, which is exactly why they’d stopped by the bank machine on their way here.

The £50 note was conveniently in his pocket, he took it out and discreetly held it up, knowing there was a camera behind him, and he was blocking it. Always know where your security is when working a job, he’d learned that from Marlene a long time ago.

The station worker took the note and cleared his throat, “you know, I think I need to use the bathroom,” he said, “I won’t be long and I better not find you here when I get back.”

“Bloody hell Remus,” James almost laughed, “I’ve never seen you in action before, that was brilliant.”

“Compliment me later James, come on,” Remus headed inside and sat at the computer.

He accessed the right file and found the footage.

There was Sirius. A little blurry on the black and white video, but it was obviously him.

“Oh my God,” James whispered, watching it carefully.

“Okay, got the train number,” Remus stated, “let’s get out of here.”

Back in the car, they looked up the train.

“So, it starts in London and goes all the way up to Glasgow,” Remus explained, looking at his phone, “it’s crossing nearly the whole bloody country, there’s hundreds of places he could’ve gotten off at.”

James sighed, “yeah, Christ you’re right,” he was scrolling through the information on his own phone, “if we had to give someone 50 quid at every station, we’d be more than bankrupt.”

They were quiet for some time. Remus closed his eyes and leaned his head against the seat.

“I really thought this might be a break, you know?” he sighed, “the thing we needed to get to finding him at last.”

“Wait.”

Remus opened his eyes, looking at James whose own eyes had gone wide behind his glasses, “what?”

“This train stops at lots of little stations in the countryside,” James explained, “one of those happens to be right next to my parent’s estate.”

* * *

James parents had died a few years back. Fleamont had gone first, heart attack. He had just managed to see his son married, but they hadn’t had the chance to tell him about the baby.

Not even a year later, Euphemia was diagnosed with cancer. She lived long enough to see Harry born, but James thinks that’s what she was fighting for. A month or so later she passed away peacefully.

The deaths had been hard on James and Lily, it had been such a happy time for them, marriage and a baby to then be marred by the death of two parents.

It was also hard on Sirius.

At 16 Sirius ran away from home and began living with the Potter’s. They cared for him so much they took to calling him a son. It broke him to have his adoptive parents taken away from him.

James had been left the Potter’s large estate in their will. The plan had been to fix the place up, rent it out to people and eventually when James, Lily, Remus and Sirius were old and tired they had planned to move into the old house and take care of each other while Harry was out living his life.

Of course, after Sirius’ disappearance, James had abandoned that plan and pretty much the house as well.

A cleaner would go in once a week and keep things in order and there was a gardener for the grounds, but otherwise no visitors.

* * *

Until that day.

James parked the car outside the grand house, but they both sat in the car for another couple of minutes.

Eventually, Remus let out the breath he hadn’t realised he’d been holding in.

“I don’t think he’s actually going to be in there,” he sighed, “it’s too easy.”

James nodded, “I’m sure the cleaner or the gardener would’ve noticed if he was living here.”

It was upspoken, but the two men in that car feared something. They were scared that a best friend and a lover who had been missing for years had been safe the whole time, in this house, the only reason he hadn’t contacted them being that he simply didn’t want to.

Finally, they left the car.

James unlocked the door and pushed it open, the creak echoed around the hallway. A cursory glance around the interior gave no signs of anything interesting.

They stepped in, light footsteps on the hardwood floor sounding deafeningly loud in the eerily quiet as they did so.

Remus found the light switch and flicked it on.

They could see the staircase opposite the door, leading to the upper floor. To the left, an open archway gave a view of the dining room. To the right, a tall door that was closed, hiding the main living room.

James headed into the dining room, there was nothing out of place. The chairs still sat around the large table, on the sides of the room ornamental candlesticks lined a bureau where the finest china was kept. There was a large mirror on the wall opposite the entrance, it had replaced a grand portrait of James’ grandparents, his parents said the mirror made the room brighter and less intimidating.

On the far end of the dining room was a closed-door, this led to the large kitchen. Upon entering he found nothing. Everything was as it should be, clean, tidy.

He noticed something odd as he headed back towards the door, however.

The bin.

There was a bin bag in it, and some rubbish poking out.

How would an empty home produce rubbish?

The cleaner? But part of her job was leaving the house tidy, surely, she wouldn’t leave something to rot in the bin for a week?

James lifted the lid and peered in. There wasn’t much in there, just a prawn cocktail crisp packet and an energy drink can.

As James had spent a lot of years smelling his best friend’s prawny breathe and watching him down a can of whatever had caffeine in it to get through his classes; he was certain this was Sirius.

* * *

Remus had gone into the living room. There was a large, soft sofa, dark red in colour, with two matching armchairs, facing the front of the house and a mounted TV on the wall. A large window occupied most of the wall directly across from the door, and there was a fireplace in the back.

He was drawn first to the fireplace, the mantelpiece. There were photos of James growing up, James and Lily’s wedding, Harry as a new-born.

Remus noticed one photo of James and Sirius. Sirius had his arm around James and was grinning at the camera, James was laughing, his head tilted up and his eyes closed. They were so young, probably 16, Remus missed those days. Going to school together, pulling stupid pranks. Summers spent here, at James’ parents’ place.

He put the photo down in its spot on the mantle again. He took a deep breath to steady himself, leaning against the fireplace. That’s when he spotted something, in the ashes of the fireplace. As he bent down towards it, he noticed that there was still a warmth, emanating from the doused fire.

Someone had been here.

He carefully plucked what turned out to be a mostly burned piece of paper.

“Remus,” James burst into the room suddenly, holding the rubbish he’d found, “look what I found in the bin,”

Remus looked with a furrowed brow, “okay, so he was here, and looks like he was burning something.” He held up the burned paper.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't resist uploading this so soon, but I won't be sticking to a daily update schedule for good! Thanks for reading and, as always, I love to hear people's thoughts, I'm really excited about this fic!


	3. Chapter 3

Back at James’ house, armed with a bright light and a magnifying glass they started to piece together the burned paper they’d found.

“Black Family Industries,” Remus murmured, being able to make out the remains of a logo, “shit.”

James nodded, “his fucking family, I knew they were to blame for this.”

Sirius’ family were the owners of a company that seemed to have its fingers in many different pies, but it wasn’t very clear how they were rich. The Black family were just, billionaires. That’s all the global public ever really knew about them, rich, powerful and mostly attractive. No one knew exactly where the money came from, but there were certainly rumours of a dark side to the business.

Sirius never talked about Black Family Industries, he only told about his abusive family and the expectation to work alongside side them for the rest of his life as the reason he eventually ran away.

James swallowed heavily, “so he’s involved with his family again,” he said, “why do you think that is?”

Remus shook his head, “I don’t know… I just don’t know.”

There was a quiet moment. They didn’t want to voice the thought they were both having, that Sirius had gone down a bad path along with the rest of his family and was now beyond saving.

“There’s something else, I think I see the word ‘meeting.’” Remus said, pointing it out to James.

James adjusted his glasses and peered closer to the paper, “yeah, looks like a date and address here too.”

Remus placed the magnifying glass over the words, the light underneath the paper, revealing words that were previously there, “…Something hotel, Paris,” he said, he was getting a headache from looking so carefully, “23/02.”

“That’s tomorrow,” James said quickly, “23rd of February.”

Remus thinks for a second, before grabbing his things and heading towards the door.

“Where are you going?”

“Paris,” Remus replied, “I’ll call you tomorrow night.”

* * *

Remus booked a last-minute flight as soon as he got home, packed a bag and headed straight to the airport.

Around midnight he landed in Paris and headed to the hotel he’d booked.

He was a frequent traveller; he often went on small trips around Europe. He made good money as a PI and going abroad had started as a distraction, to take his mind off Sirius and ended up being perhaps the only thing, besides James, Lily and Harry, that truly brought him joy anymore. He had frequent flyer miles and discounts on hotels, so the last-minute booking wasn’t an issue, and this wasn’t his first trip to Paris.

At his hotel, he did a bit of research, looking at the biggest, gaudiest Parisian hotels that Black Family Industries might be using to host meetings, and then slept a few hours.

The next morning, with a picture of Sirius on his phone wallpaper he began his search.

By midday, he had been all over the city, into countless hotels and had no luck. He’d encountered snooty receptionists who refused to give information on whether Sirius was a guest. He’d dealt with apologetic people who gave the photo a good look, though they didn’t recognise Sirius.

He had stopped in a café to grab a coffee and something to eat. He leant back in his chair, sipping his coffee and thinking about where to go from here. Should he continue his fruitless attempts to check random hotels? Or give up, check out of the hotel and go home early?

A shiver ran up his spine, but he knew better than to react. He simply placed his coffee back down on the table. He felt very exposed, seated outside this café, in the centre of Paris. Someone was watching him. He’d watched enough people to know what that felt like.

He took out his phone and called James.

“Remus,” James answered, “are you actually in Paris? You’ve not answered my messages.”

“Yeah, I’m doing fine,” Remus replied, breezily, “enjoying my trip, really needed to get out of London for a day or two.”

“What are you on about?” James asked, “did you find him?”

“No, no, I was going to go to the Louvre,” Remus continued casually, smiling at the waitress and she placed his food in front of him, “but I’m really tuckered out and I think I’ll just head back to the hotel for a siesta.”

“Something’s wrong?” James instantly understood. Another thing he’d learned from Marlene, in their line of work, was set up a code word, “siesta”, with a trusted friend to let them know discreetly when you might be in danger.

“Absolutely,” Remus replied, “just letting you know I’ll be home tomorrow, no need to pick me up from the airport.”

“Okay Remus,” James sighed, the ‘no need to pick me up’ meant he didn’t need immediate help, but something weird was going on, “If I don’t hear from you tomorrow morning, I’m calling the police.”

“See you tomorrow,” Remus agreed. He hung up, ate his food at a normal pace before getting up, leaving cash on the table, and heading towards his hotel.

However, upon noticing his shadow out of his periphery he decided to walk past the door to the hotel and continue to a busy marketplace. There, he tried to disappear into the crowd.

He did a cursory glance around, he saw a man in a suit standing still and glaring at the crowd, eyes darting all over the place, looking very much like he’d lost something. This guy was obviously not too bright, more muscle than mind. He wasn’t fit for this stealthier mission of following a target.

Remus had lots of practice of staying out of sight, however. He ducked into an outlet selling clothes, bought a jacket and a hat.

He left, walking right past the man who had been following him, the other’s eyes didn’t fall on him for a second.

But, as he walked back towards the hotel, he worried that there may be more where that came from.

* * *

In the hotel room, Remus was packing the bag he’d brought, ready to hop back on a plane to London again.

He was sure, now, that Sirius had gotten into something dangerous related to his family, something big enough that someone had been sent after him. By shouting Sirius’ name around the city all morning he’d made a target of himself. He just wanted to get out of here and back to London where he felt at least a little safer. Perhaps he’d go to his parent’s cottage in the Welsh countryside, get off the grid for a couple of days before regrouping and trying to figure out what kind of mess he’d gotten himself into.

Then there as a knock on the door. Remus froze.

He was on the 5th floor, so no chance of escaping out a window if he had to. Luckily, it was the typical bedroom set up, the door was next to the bathroom in a narrow entranceway, then the main part with the bed, vanity and TV. This meant if he opened the door to something dangerous, he could hide in the bathroom and lock the door.

He made sure his phone was on him as he crept to the door.

Another knock, “Remus, let me in.”

Remus nearly fell to the ground in shock. He knew that voice.

Sirius.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! This chapter certainly isn't my favourite, but the next one will answer a lot more questions and I'm really excited to have it posted so please stay tuned and let me know what you think so far!


	4. Chapter 4

_Another knock, “Remus, let me in.”_

_Remus nearly fell to the ground in shock. He knew that voice._

He rushed to the door, ready to open it, but paused. He looked through the peephole.

He brought a hand up to cover a sob that almost made it past his lips, he could clearly see the long hair, the high cheekbones, and the grey eyes of Sirius Black.

“Are you alone?” Remus managed to ask; this could be some sort of trick.

“Yeah, I’m alone,” Sirius sounded a bit on edge, “you have to let me in Re, before someone sees.”

There was no pause this time, perhaps the nickname did it, he took the chain off the door, unlocked it and opened it, allowing Sirius to pass through before very quickly closing it and re-securing it.

Then he turned to face Sirius properly for the first time in years.

They were both quiet for a moment, before Sirius sighed, “Remus, you have no idea how much danger you’ve put yourself in my looking for me.”

Remus felt heat rise to his throat, “well, what the fuck was I supposed to do, Sirius?” he asked, his arms crossing over his chest, “what do you think I’ve been trying to do for the last 3 fucking years since the night you walked out?”

Sirius rubbed his hands over his face, “you don’t understand…”

Remus interrupted him, “you haven’t given me any chance to understand,” he had stepped closer to Sirius now, pointing at his chest, “you walked out without a word, you left and never came back. We thought you were dead. We thought you’d run off. Then two days ago I bloody see you at a train station, just a couple fucking miles from James and Lily’s house.”

He paused to breathe, his chest rising and falling quickly. Sirius was silent.

“Do you remember them?” Remus continued, voice scathing and ice cold, “your brother, your closest friend, the love of his life and their son. Their godson. He’s four now. Do you remember his name?”

“SHUT UP!” Sirius exploded, “shut the fuck up Remus.”

They stared at each other for a moment before Sirius sank to the floor his head in his hands.

“I know I hurt you Remus, I don’t expect you to ever forgive me, but please, don’t do this…” he sounded choked, like his was struggling to get the words out, “I can’t… I just can’t handle you yelling at me.”

Remus felt sick. A pit had formed in his stomach and his heart broke again looking at Sirius, crumpled on the floor. He knelt down in front of him and said, in more gentle tone, “tell me what’s going on.”

And so, Sirius did.

“The night I left; it was Regulus who had called me.”

“You know, I ran away from home at 16, I was too young to truly know the nature of Black Family Industries, I had always been told I’d know more when I was older and had taken over, but then I left. So, when Reg turned 18 it fell to him to start to learn the dirty secrets. He called me that night because something had happened, and he realised no one in the family is safe.”

He took a shaky breath.

“I met him, and he told me that our mother had murdered our father in front of him.”

Remus gasped and grabbed Sirius’ wrist, just holding on to him.

“She had believed for a long time that he was holding them back, with him dead she became the head of the business. The inner circle knows; my cousin Bellatrix, her husband Lestrange, Lucius Malfoy and Reg. You won’t have seen anything on the news about it, they have some clients who’ll stop doing business upon his death so they’ve hidden it for more than three years, they’ll announce that he died of a sudden heart attack when the time is right.”

“As part of that inner circle, Reg knows too much. About the drug dealings, weapons dealings, fucking hired hits. That’s the real money makers for our family, blood money. Everything else is a front.”

“It was too dangerous to get him out, so I decided I would go in. We’ve slowly been building up evidence of illegal activities. But it’s hard. They keep a close eye on things and weak links are eliminated. It’s been copying a document here, recording a conversation there. But it’s taken this long to get things together.”

He finally looked up, taking Remus’ hands and looking into his face, “I’m so close, Remus,” he said, “this is almost over, I swear to you. I’m coming home soon but we have to be patient.”

There was a pause, “why were you using James’ house?” Remus questioned.

“It was a space where I could keep things, destroy things and be myself for a few hours” Sirius explained, “but it’s compromised now. Someone tracked my phone there and I had to make up excuses, can’t risk going back now.”

“Why didn’t you tell me all of this?” Remus asked, quietly.

“Because, the less you knew, the safer you were,” Sirius sighed, “Remus, even me being here right now is putting you in so much fucking danger. If anything were to happen to you…”

“I don’t care,” Remus cut him off, “I don’t give a single fuck. I love you and that hasn’t changed, danger or no danger.”

Sirius smiled weakly, “I love you too,” he replied, “but I can’t let you get hurt.”

“Every day you’re away hurts me,” Remus said, softly, pressing their foreheads together as they sat across from each other, still on the floor.

Sirius frowned, “don’t do this,” he whispered.

“And I think it hurts you too.”

“So much.”

Remus pressed their lips together and Sirius instantly responded, his hands going to Remus’ face to pull them closer to each other. Mouths opened, Remus’ tongue began exploring Sirius’ mouth, the other making a noise in the back of his throat.

Remus pushed Sirius down against the floor of the hotel, kissing him everywhere, nipping at his throat, undoing the buttons on the fine white shirt he was wearing.

“Wait,” Sirius breathed, “wait.”

Remus stopped, looking down at Sirius, terrified that this was going to be it.

“Let’s move onto the bed,” Sirius continued, moving his hand to press against Remus’ crotch.

Remus grinned and helped him up, before pushing him right back down and onto the bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooft it's been a hot second... anyways here is a chapter. Thanks to everyone who's been reading, leaving kudos and commenting for keeping me going.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SPOILERS!!! 
> 
> CW for gun related injury!!! It's at the end of the chapter... I've put in a line to warn those who might be uncomfortable with this <3

The next morning, Remus woke up to the sun shining through the window of the hotel room, it blinded him a little as he opened his eyes. He rolled over, putting an arm out, looking for Sirius, but his arm hit the empty side of the bed.

“Sirius?” he called, sitting up and looking around.

His clothes were gone.

Remus stood up and checked the bathroom.

It was empty.

Sirius had left him again.

As he headed to the airport, Remus contemplated what a fool he had been, thinking that sleeping together might change Sirius’ mind make him come back.

But he had hoped. He really had hoped that maybe once they had proven their trust to one another Sirius would have realised that he needs Remus. But it looked like he was wrong.

By early afternoon Remus was back in his flat.

It felt different somehow. The ghost of Sirius was back, it had lingered for a year or two after he left. But now Remus felt him again, living with a memory.

He had several missed calls from James. He sent a quick text saying he was home from Paris and fine, but he needed space.

And he curled up into a ball in his bed and he sobbed.

He screamed and he cried because it’s all so un-fucking-fair.

He let the anger, the sorrow, the guilt, the confusion all consume him until he was left hollow and exhausted.

The next day he was forced to get up.

Someone was banging on his door so relentlessly their hands would surely be bruised.

He threw on a pair of pyjamas and answered the door.

“Jesus, Remus,” James sighed.

Lily gasped, pushing past her husband she put her hands on Remus’ cheek, “sweetheart, what happened?”

And he started to cry yet again, allowing Lily to hold him and James to lead them over to the sofa.

A few minutes later they all had cups of tea in their hands, James and Lily listened carefully to Remus’ story, or Remus retelling Sirius’.

Lily had a hand over her mouth, in shock, “you… you said hired hits?” she whispered, “Christ, I knew his family were… but this…”

James was pacing back and worth past the large window in the main living area of the flat, he paused to look out of it.

“I knew it had to do with his family,” James turned back to them and he had a slightly crazy look to him, “I was worried they’d forced him back, but there’s hope. He’s putting a case together so there’s hope. He’s going to end this, he’ll come home.”

Remus shook his head, “it’s been three years, James,” he sighed, “this is some deep shit he’s gotten himself into.”

“Can you close the blinds?” Lily asked James, squinting, “there’s a red light giving me a headache.”

James closed the blinds and sat on a chair across from the sofa, “what do we do now?”

Remus shrugged, he was quiet for a moment as he thought, “we have to wait for Sirius to make the next move.”

“You think he’ll reach out for help?” Lily asked.

“I was hoping he’d just come back with me yesterday, but obviously it’s too dangerous,” Remus explained, “but he’s told me everything now, he knows I’d tell you. There’s a chance.”

“I can ask the cleaner to check my parent’s place for more rubbish and things,” James suggested, “maybe he’ll leave some stuff there.”

Remus shook his head, “no, I doubt it,” he replied, “Sirius said it was compromised, someone had tracked him there and he couldn’t risk going back.”

“Shit,” James sighed, “well, we’ll just have to keep our eyes peeled, I suppose.”

Remus nodded.

Lily patted him on the arm, “I’m going to go pick up Harry from nursery,” she said, “James can stay with you.”

Remus shook his head, “no, no,” he said, “I’m fine, you should both go, I want to shower, get dressed. Tidy the flat up a bit.”

His friends looked concerned, “are you sure?”

Remus nodded, “yes, yes I’m sure,” he said, giving them a slightly forced smile, “look, I’m sorry for worrying you, I had a rough night last night, but telling you today has really helped. I’m not okay, I won’t be for a while, I’m going to get myself sorted and go visit my parents for a few days, clear my head.”

They both gave him smiles, Lily kissed his cheek, “okay, call us if you need anything.”

“And call us if you don’t,” James added, pulling Remus into a hug, “I’ll call to check in on you later, and let me know when you’re on your way to Wales.”

Remus let out a small laugh, “fine, mum.” He teased.

James gave him another smile before the couple headed out of the flat.

Remus had a long, hot shower, letting his tense muscles relax. The pressure of the water eased his anxieties somewhat.

He got dressed, tidied his bedroom, put on a load of washing and tidied the living room.

He noticed the blinds were still closed, he opened them.

He took the moment to gaze out on the London skyline. This flat had been a gift from one of Sirius’ good relatives, one of just two who had successfully escaped and managed to be unaffiliated with Black Family industries. But Sirius’ uncle Alphard had still been a rich man, which is why he had left this flat to Sirius, in a nice part of the city with an amazing view.

* * *

He blinked at a red light in his face and moved back from the window.

Then there was a smashing sound.

He moved back in shock, there was a small hole in his window. He backed away further, to where he could not be seen through the window anymore.

Why would someone throw a rock at his window?

He felt something warm on his stomach and looked down.

Something red was soaking through his white shirt.

He pulled it up.

The rock had hit him?

He sank to the ground.

A bullet.

A bullet had hit him.

The pain washed over him, and he was drowning in it. He couldn’t scream, he couldn’t cry out and, suddenly, he went entirely numb.

His legs no longer worked.

Everything went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who's continued reading, commenting and leaving kudos, let me know what you think about this new development!! :)


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